About page for Fearful site

I always wondered whether my Dad was responsible for my love of drawing and painting. As far back as I can remember he would hold me on his lap and draw pictures and make up great stories or funny jokes about them. It was way better than watching cartoons! Then at some point he began to show me how to draw a face. How the face could be seen in sections and the eyes would be set right about the middle, the ears between the eyes and the mouth, etc. It was all so fascinating to a little kid.

I was one who could easily get lost in my imagination, which I think has served me well in life. I wish children today would learn to use their creativity much more and leave the passive entertainment for just once-in-a-while. Learning to use color was a step further, and a new box of crayons and a coloring book was my all-time best gift.

As a teen, I got away from drawing and coloring until one day when I suddenly decided I wanted a large poster of my favorite vampire, Barnabas Collins. My dad was a doctor, and he had always had his office attached to our house. I didn’t have any money, or any poster paper big enough for a drawing the size I wanted, so I went in dad’s office and tore off a large sheet of the paper that covered his examination table. It just happened to be blue, so my poster was going to be blue! I laid it out on the floor and got a good picture of Barnabas and drew and drew. I shaded, erased and shadowed. I was lost in the creation of that poster for hours. When I finally snapped out of it, I had larger than life size (about 2.5 x 3.5) poster of Barnabas Collins taken from a small black and white shot in a fan magazine. It included his wolf headed cane and his hands folded on top of it, showing his cool black ring. It was all done with a no. 2 pencil. I just remember thinking, ‘This is so awesome! Now when I want a poster, I can just make it.’ I still have that blue poster, done on my dad’s exam table paper. I realized at some level that I must have some God given talent. I did not even know I could do that! I kind of scared myself! So, my love of art moved into a new phase. But as adult life with marriage and family came along, art took a back seat. I would try something here and there, but eventually decided that the world really didn’t need another pretty picture. So, I left art behind to raise my four children, my highest calling of all.

And then, less than a year ago, I was really searching for what God wanted me to do. Now I’m a grandmother! I tried so many things, but nothing really felt right for very long. I kept hearing the Spirit’s still, small voice say ‘use your talents.’ So, I tried writing fiction. I tried online businesses. I never thought of art until I saw a young lady on the internet doing her paintings and drawings and selling them. I began to wonder if I could still do it after decades of no drawing or painting. I put if off for months, being too scared that the ability would be completely gone. It would be my own fault for ignoring God’s gift. I finally tried to draw an owl. Much to my utter amazement it turned out okay! Wow, we serve a loving, tender hearted and beautiful God! I felt He had saved my gift for me, knowing someday I’d want to use it again. After that, a very kind lady I know, asked me to do a commissioned colored pencil drawing of three dogs from a photo. I was terrified, but excited at the same time. And it must have turned out well because she paid a good price for it. The day I brought it to her house, and took the cover off it to show her, her first words were, “Did you draw that??!!” I just nodded. She told me she loved it, and I burst into tears! I know she meant it because she hired me to do another drawing for her goddaughter! God is so good! So, that is how I got here, and I’m thrilled to see what the road ahead brings.

My mission with art is to glorify God, point others to Him through His fearful and glorious creation (Psalm 65:5), and highlight His beautiful mind. George MacDonald — Scottish poet, preacher, novelist, and one of the most influential writers of Victorian Britain — once said, “Flowers are God’s thoughts.” It took me awhile to get that, but I got it. Now I want to show more of God’s thoughts to everyone.